Archives: spunks

JunoMust stop thinking of self as Juno. I am probably thrice her age.

 

Hints for the hopeless

Conchita Wurst belly bump

I’ve linked to it before, but this site does make me laugh. It’s a list of hints for dads. (I’m sure you’re aware, it’s not the only one.) Hints. Dadness for dummies.

Take number 2. Clean the bathroom. Or number 4. Take her out to dinner.

Dude, you have to be told this shit??? How did you manage to become a goddamn father in the first place? Any lady who lets a non-bathroom-cleaning bloke between her legs in the first place deserves to be looking wistfully at a list of dad-hints, bookmarking them or perhaps even sending a link in a suggestive email…

Just kidding. I’m still waiting for the foot-fucking-master, too.

Ancient celebrities’ babies

I compile a list of celebrities who fall pregnant later in life… Then I see this article, which makes me feel uncomfortable. I understand, by having a surprise natural pregnancy now, that I am unusual, but Ms Friedman’s censorious tone makes me feel quite excluded. Or maybe it’s the hormones.

At least Cosmopolitan reports that “each case is different”. And, if I dig around a little, I can find others in the blogosphere who’ll make me feel less of a freak.

 

Ancient, knocked-up celebs

  • Halle Berry, 46 (2nd child)
  • Uma Thurman, 43 (3rd)
  • Salma Hayek, 41
  • Mariah Carey, 43
  • Jane Seymour, and Celine Dion, 42
  • Madonna, 40-whatever
  • Carla Bruni, 44
  • Monica Belluci, 45
  • Maya Rudolph, 41(4th)
  • Mira Sorvino, 45
  • Julianne Moore, 41
  • Kelly Preston, 47 (3rd)
  • Marcia Cross, 51
  • Jennifer Connely, 42
  • Meryl Streep, 4 kids in her 40s
  • Susan Sarandon, 45 (2nd)
  • Annette Bening, 41
  • Molly Ringwald, 45!!!
  • Geena Davis, 46
  • Brooke Sheilds, 41
  • Madonna, 41 (2nd)

You can’t tell me they were all donor eggs.

Oh, this blog is shiny and new and already I’m writing about celebrities. I feel dirty.

But, I’ll take Uma, and Molly. And the most exciting exemplar…


Ursula Andress in a bikini

Ursula. Always Ursula.

 

The winning mature celeb pregnancy is Ursula Andress, who had her first baby at 44, with none other than my high school LA Law crush, Harry Hamlin. She’s also scored some quality doona time with James Dean and Marlon Brando — oh, my teenage self swoons! AND she knows her way around a tiger.

Ursula Andress and Harry HamlinJimmy & Ursula Villa CapriUrsule-Andress

I knew we had more in common than a love of good shells.

And hanging out on coral cays with moustachio’d Scots.

 

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